Tattoo of my "Amour"

So this past weekend I kept my word and received my first tattoo! It took me 4.5 years to find the perfect tattoo for myself and being that this is my first, it will probably mean the most to me!

My tattoo is 1/3 french & 2/3 latin..lol... trust me it was intentional... kinda like spanglish!
I thought I'd take the time to let ya'll in on my thought process...lol... I never try to be deep I just do what I like!

Now as you can see in the photo it reads  "Amour Vincit Omnia".... traditional and correct latin would have it read "AMOR Vincit Omnia"... but like my personality I never do anything by tradition!

The phrase still means the same thing "Love Conquers All", but I kinda of wanted to play with the word love! When translated in french "amour" means Love, but more precise and to make this tattoo a little more personal it can also mean "an illicit love affair"... and no Im not condoning love affairs before anyone assumes that nonsense lol!!!

OK... the breakdown!
Now if you know me, you know I've been speaking french since 8th grade... so there are so many reasons I chose to spell it this way... and before anyone says "Why didn't you just get it in french?"... I like latin.. point blank.. its not dead and it reads beautifully, I wanted to mix the languages especially since french derived from latin... annnnnnd.... "Amour conquiert tous" isn't my favorite way of saying it either. LOL! Mais J'adore jamais mon francais!! Tous le jour!

Now back to the spelling... I have been through so much in my life journey and sure I will be through so much more, but one of my biggest struggles is in the matters of the heart! My issues don't just lie with trying to find a mate, but with love for my friends, family, and most importantly MYSELF.... so much so that its almost like this on and off again love affair. Illicit mean"forbidden by law" and sometimes thats exactly how I feel... true love feels damn near forbidden and hard to come by, but at the end of the day... LOVE CONQUERS ALL. Right when I think it's over, somehow/ someway love for life, myself, others & God overcomes my situation and I win the war.. no matter the "outcome".

Like I said, I dont try to be deep, lol its just a very personal tattoo and I thought Id let ya'll in on how I viewed my decision! It's funny how the difference 1 letter can make in a meaning and purpose! If you know nothing else, know who you are and what you want. Nothing means more than your voice and having the freedom to express yourself exactly like YOU want... the only standards that need to be met are your own!

Live. Laugh. Love
      A. Bunny

"Use-y" Lover

Have you ever just been content with what happens in your head and not cared too much what's going on with your reality?! That's exactly how I feel these days... I understand Im going through a growth period and a lot of people feel like Im extremely nonchalant about a lot of things, which isn't the case, I just feel more relaxed in my own head. I dont have any real issues or dilemmas going on now, Im going with the flow of life, but somehow some way some obstacles just pop their little heads up (like I'd never see that coming)... this month.. or couple of months it's been "boys" "men" whaaatever you want to call them... just sprouting up like little weeds. And along with these weeds come these feelings... what in the heck for?!?! I mean really, Im not so heartless of a soul that I dont care about anyone's feelings but honestly, NOW you want to come to me and tell me that you love me... or now you want to try again.. come on guys... I understand it's cold outside but I dont have stupid written on my forehead do I?!?! WILL IT EVER END!!! lol

Being used, why do we do it? We all have been used some way or another, but I really want to talk about how we do it to each other (meaning men/ women) like love is never going to be part of the equation... I wont try to say I've never done it because I have... am I proud of it? No... but I've done it nevertheless. I recently met this guy... wont go into too much detail because they might read this, anyways I met this guy and he was in a relationship and let's just say this "relationship" ended badly.. now he misses his significant other (they both made a mistake and 2 wrongs dont make a right) and well she won't take him back... not now at least... and he is feeling lonely or so he says... I know y'all see where Im going with this... He is basically looking for something warm to lay on top of... which is sad because at the end of the day, regardless if he let's anyone know upfront what his situation is... he has failed to realize that human emotions, dont give a DAMN what your situation is... and for anyone who puts themselves in that positon it is by choice, but 2 people hold responsibilities in situations like that and I'll never understand how we as humans can reconcile using others for emotional support or what have you, without reciprocating that feeling. 

This post is brief and just something that was on my mind earlier... I just wanted to get this off my chest... until next time


Live. Love. Laugh
       A. Noelle

Journey of her Reflection...

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.... We all want it, we all deserve it, but do we all give it?

This blog is for my ladies. I've noticed that some of my generation of women are having a hard time learning to respect ourselves. Many of us, find ourselves letting other people define who we should see ourselves as... and I'm not just talkin men, I'm referring to our parents or what we see media-wise (I swear I stay comin' down on the media). 

I feel for a lot of young girls out there because they are truly confused on who they are and find it cute to let people degrade them. We are so much more than that ladies! NEVER and I do mean NEVER let anyone tell you that you are anything less than God's gift to this world! You never have to lower your standards for a man, because if he REALLY LOVED YOU... he wouldn't ask anything of you, that you wouldn't ask of yourself. You do not have to listen to your friends or family tell you what you won't become, or who you have become. We are creatures of change, so never think what you are stuck in, is going to be the outcome for the rest of your life!

I'm not gonna beat this dead horse, so I will be as brief as I possibly can, but I feel like I just need to put this out there. Im so tired of walkin around seeing these beautiful women, inside and out, act foolish for attention, it's embarrassing and pointless. If I had a mirror to hold up to the world, NONE of us would even glance out our true reflections, but yet we are steadily trying to improve ourselves and meet someone else's standards. What right do any of us have to put a label or a name on someone who is doing the best they can to be who God intended? I do understand that men have their struggles and by no means am I saying they have it easy, but as a natural born woman I fully understand the pressures we as women have in ANY society to be the epitome of PERFECTION.

A guy I recently met said "Im glad Im a boy... women have it too hard, from y'alls hair, to makeup, to periods, to everything" lol I couldn't help but laugh because of the truth behind that simple statement. We do so much... myself included... and for what!?! Now I understand we all like to look pretty to OUR standards, but what about those instances when someone cuts you down when you have built up your own confidence... we feel horrible because we dont have social acceptance. (To hell with it!)

I am learning everyday to look myself straight in the mirror and to find 1 thing about myself that I love and stick with it, until I have learned to love everything about me, because I LOVE IT.. not because someone else told me it was beautiful... I wake up each morning and live and breathe for Adrienne and no one else... when I die my body will return to the earth and no one will be able to speak on my big thighs or big lips... none of this is relevant.

As far as degrading anyone, men or women, based solely upon the choices made in their life... Who Cares... honestly we are not defined by our "mistakes"... at the end of the day its what you do with the knowledge you have gained from that life's lesson. As much as I have a great disdain for strippers and their choice of career... I respect the woman who has the strength to leave that life and learn from it.... It's easy to stay complacent... only the strong at heart and will can step outside of their comfort zone with faith that a better/positive life awaits them.

All I'm saying while I stand on my soapbox is that everyone deserves the optimum level of respect... none of us are greater than the other... we all bleed the same.. breathe the same... our bank accounts don't matter... our education doesn't matter (unless used in a more positive way)... because at the end of the day our legacy in life is not based upon how many people we cut down or who we hurt in life... it's carried on by those we have touched and made a difference... And for every woman who has tried to make herself into something that she know's isn't right... DO NOT CHANGE FOR ANYONE... you know exactly who you are and who you want to be... be your own biggest fan, realize that those who really love you, will love you no matter what you do or who you become. We only have one life, do not spend it trying to be something for another, because chances are they will never be satisfied with their life focusing on someone else's.


Live. Laugh. Love
           A. Bunny 

Intuitive Patience

Do any of y'all recognize these lyrics?


It's been three weeks since you've been looking for your friend
The one you let hit it and never called you again
'Member when he told you he was 'bout the Benjamins
You act like you ain't hear him then gave him a little trim... 


This is Lauyrn Hill's Doo Wop... 


Now unless you are a big fan of lyrics or really listen to the meaning behind the song, you miss the message... I love me some lauryn and the message to this song is one that is preached over and over but hardly ever heeded! 


How many of us women had parents who would always tell us protect your bodies and make him fall in love with your mind? I'd bet more than are wiling to acknowledge, and if you didn't have the parents there was at least ONE positive influence in your life that warned you of the dangers of falling for the wrong guy... But in all honesty, where do we go wrong as women... where do we cross the line of innocence to rebel, because let's face it, the moment your hormones decide they want to take over your mind, boys cloud your thoughts and we ALL lose our damn minds, at one time or another. More importantly when do we realize that we must learn from our mistakes (mistakes aren't stupid they are a chance to learn and grow). 


One of the most common mistakes I hear about whether it be on TV, from friends, or read in magazines, its the mistake of giving the most precious part of you up for what you believe is LOVE. I want to just touch on this love thing just to get to the root of the issue of why WE as women fall for wolves in sheep's clothing, and forget ourselves in the process. 


Those lyrics I posted obviously speak about meeting a guy, and giving it up to him foolishly over and over again despite your beliefs... Most of the time we dont give it up unless feelings are involved. We as women are emotional creatures... you can try to dispute that all you want, but its fact. We were created to FEEL (and please dont ever let a man make you feel bad for feeling what HE wont)... women keep the emotional balance of this world, yes there are times when we operate without reason, but we are the backbone of all that is perceived as strong in this world, with that said, we are our own worse enemy in the matters of Love. 


We let our hearts speak for our minds and become completely irrational. A word of advice... If you hear your heart speak and your mind is going in a different direction, it's not for you or vice versa... The secret to making the right decision is when your heart and head are in agreement... trust me, it makes choosing so much less difficult. If you know in your heart or head that something isn't right, and you do it anyways... how often do you become disappointed or have a feeling of being jilted, especially with a man? All the signs are there, his mouth isn't saying anything his heart doesn't feel if he's letting you know he doesn't want anything serious (YOU CANT CHANGE HIM), and yet we lead ourselves down this path repeatedly only to later feel scorned and put it on some other man... 


The point of all of this is that we let our emotions get the better of us... Not only should we feel we should think and when the time is right, our whole body will be in agreeance and all of this nonsense of broken hearts should subside. He is out there... and with a lot of Prayer and a little women's intuition you will find him... 


Live. Laugh. Love

Therapy...

This post is just a little personal therapy for me... no advice... no lecture... just me opening up myself to y'all.... 

Life is a funny thing, we have all heard this countless times when we were younger but when do we actually learn the lessons that it has to teach us? At the age of 23 I feel like my life has been eventful enough to make a movie, but I've never felt my most challenged until now (sigh).

I am recently considered an ACOD (Adult Child of Divorce), yes there is a technical term for this NOT making it up y'all! I have learned so much about myself this past year! In January I prayed and said 2010 is gonna be my best year, like most of us do, and so far with 2 months left in the year, 2010 has been my BEST YEAR FOR LESSONS! As a recent college graduate I was so convinced that I'd graduate, get a job, and embark on MY life... as so many of my friends seemed to do, and so easily... but NOT me. I had the most difficulty finding a job, and actually still unemployed (Thanks Bush)! If anyone knows the strains of this recession, trust me I'm one of them, and on top of that my parents are filing for divorce after 24 years of marriage. Talk about a reality check.

The abridged version of what has happened to me in the past year and a half is basically my father left, he moved out, and has left my mother and I to live in this house, now the reasons for him leaving are pretty much self explanatory, adultery (I myself am certainly not an advocate for cheating past, present. or future)! Now while my father is still helping us out financially, once the divorce is final my mother will carry the burden of paying for this house and everything it comes with herself... my mother is only a nurse... IT WILL BE HARD (as if it isn't already)!

I've gone through so many emotional changes, anger being the biggest, since I've dealt with all of this... For the longest I felt like something was stolen for me... I would cry, scream, throw, and yell my rage out. Like children dealing with divorce I felt like it was my responsibility to fix it, and when I couldn't, I got angry. For a long time coming I have grown out of that feeling but I still hold some resentment. I understand that right now, at this point in my life, sacrifices have to be made. Trust me when I say, I envy others my age who have an active social life and a space of their own, because a lot I can't do, without funds I have to make do with what I have (its sucky) most of the time, I spend helping my mom out where I can and volunteering, just to keep busy.

I think all of this hit me hardest when I was in the hair store just shopping for detangler and I saw a hat that Ive been searching for, for awhile and looked at the price tag... $11.99... now to most people that's not a lot, but when you DONT have and you come to the realization of what you need versus what you want. I actually welcome these lessons, it builds character while strengthening my faith in God... I know my mother and I will make it through this, I'm not worried at all.... I just wish sometimes those around me would understand that this isn't something I choose and act accordingly.. I can no longer make choices like a child, I HAVE/ NEED to act like a Woman and accept my responsibilities in my life.

I'll leave you with this, be truly thankful for all that you have.... Until Next time

Live. Laugh. Love
    A. Bunny

Who's Back?!?

Bonjour, Hola, Ciao, & Konbanwa... In other words, Hello my loves! Oh how I've missed you all, and my daily rantings and ravings of how I perceive life! (I hope you have too!) Well I dont have any true reason as to why I was amiss, except for the fact that I've had severe writers block... But I have had a moment of pure inspiration! SOOOO basically Im saying... IM BACK! lol.. short sweet and to the point!

Positive Mondays

Yea so my bestie forwarded an email I sent 2 years ago to me entitled "Life's Instruction Book"... So I figured why not share it with all of you... Welcome to Positive Mondays.. My contribution for starting your week off with a Positive outlook!! Enjoy!

1. Never slam a door in anger, It might be awhile before it opens again.

2. Remember that some things are urgent, others are important. Know the difference.

3. When giving a gift to someone who is ill, consider something they can use when they get well.

4. Remember that money can't buy happiness; it can only rent it for a while.

5. Believe in miracles but don't depend on them.

6. Say something positive as early as possible every day.

7. Own at least one article of clothing with Mickey Mouse on it.

8. Don't forget that we are ultimately judged by what we give, not what we get.

9. Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.

10. Pride makes us do things well. But it is love that makes us do them to perfection.

11. Advice is like kissing: it costs nothing and it's a pleasant thing to do.

12. If there were no one to watch them drive by, how many people would buy a Mercedes?

13. Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, doubling our joy and dividing our grief.

14. If you know a friend has had a bad day, take her out for coffee or maybe dinner.

15. The importance of fame, fortune, and all other things pales in comparison to the importance of positive personal relationships.

Somethin' kinda like...

Tonight's blog isn't about advice or an explanation for life. Instead tonight I want to share a part of me with ya'll...Therapeutic explanation.. Now I hope when it's all said and done, I'm not transparent enough for some to understand what this is about (sorry guys) Here goes...

I noticed you how many years ago?
That day, my heart you stole...
Through growing and going into the motions of life...
I came to the distinct conclusion that one day I COULD be your wife...
I know I said I wasn't ready..
But somehow that thought is hardly steady...
You stay in the back of my mind like a dream repressed
I dont know if I should go here.... I digress
Built up inside of me like a nurtured fetus...
This feeling, I know as LOVE, is 9 months overdue
I just dont know how or when to tell you...
The confusion of my emotion is damn near explosive...
As my brain goes into contortions, trying to reconcile this sentiment...
I harbor an internal battle of what I NEED to what I want...
If God made the very reflection of me, I see it in the eyes that hold my gaze...
Astonishingly amazed... at what He gave... (sigh)
I wonder,  am I running away from what is divinely mine...
Honestly.... It's YOU that I want to bide my eternal time...


My Bestie asked me if I wrote poetry, and I figured I'd share it, and I wrote this for y'all! Enjoy!

Hate on me Hata'!

Hater (slang), a person who expresses intense feelings of hatred or spite, when the reason for this is perceived as unreasonable or spurious (deceitful nature).


Does that sound like some of you? Are you often called one of these? Do you repeatedly use this to describe people ? If so, this blog is for you! 
[Disclaimer: ALL BELIEFS AND VIEWS ARE MINE AND MINE ALONE, IF YOU DO NOT AGREE, I PROMISE I DONT CARE, Thank you]


(Scenario A) Girl 1: Did you see her hair?
                   Girl 2: Yes it was so ugly, looks like a mistake! 
Random Bystander: Why Ya'll HATIN' ? It looks great! 


Does this scenario sound like your conversations or one you have overheard? I've heard this crap plenty of times about ANY possible thing known to mankind! "You're just a hater", "Stop hating", "Hi Hater"... these are all common phrases used to express someone's perceived disdain with a situation or thing. Notice I said PERCEIVED... perception is not everyone's reality, just yours! I have chosen to do this MUCH NEEDED blog to break down the science behind this phenomena! ALL "HATER'S" PLEASE BE WARNED...


Jealousy- adjective feeling of resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success or advantages. 


Above I have defined hater and jealousy, why you ask? Well, Id like to show a clear distinction between both of these words. I think people commonly get these 2 mixed up. 

1. Hating has been defined as an expression of intense spite, ex: "She aint cute, she always walkin around like she better than everyone!" translation: "She has more confidence than I ever will, and I hate that I cant free myself." 
2. Jealously, is defined a feeling of resentment against someone's success... ex: "Just because he got that promotion, doesn't mean he deserves it" translation: "I clearly did just as much work as he did and it went unnoticed!"

If you cant see the distinction, let me point it out to you! The word  INTENSE says it all! Everyone has a moment of jealousy, because we envy what others may have at that point in time, but that is not because we cannot get what they have, but rather because we have not gotten there yet. When defined as a hater, you are basically someone who cannot seemingly reconcile within themselves, that they are who they are, I am who I am, and we will never be anyone else. 


Now, although hater is a slang word, it does hold some strong power behind it, where people do not understand how to use it PROPERLY! I walk around and hear people tell me that I am a "hater" because I don't necessarily agree with their beliefs or because I may voice my opinion (asked or not) about a situation. Now trust me when I say this.... BECAUSE I HAVE AN OPINION, that doesn't mean that 30 minutes to 5 hours from now, I'm still gonna care or even think about what it is that we discussed! Nevertheless, people are insistent on the notion that because you believe something you are a hater... FALSE! That folks is just having an opinion... I'm just an opinionated person all day long! 


While having a conversation with a few people just to get an idea of where everyone's mind is at when it comes to this thing called "hating", I learned that MOST people really don't have haters, they just don't like opinons. As much as they fight it and say criticism is good, most people don't want to be told about themselves or have anyone a negative reaction to what they do. Let's face it we all love praise whether it is real or fake, so when that's challenged... the challenger is just a.... HATER! (I always laugh at those instances, because I have to wonder, do you really think I want to be you?)


People, people, people (shaking my head), please understand that only those who have low self-esteem are haters, I know this may come as a shock, but it's very true. If someone is classified as a "hater", they very much care about what you do, who you're with, and when something will go wrong for you, this is not jealously, this is to an extreme that almost is on the verge of what I feel to be a psychological disorder. Hater's ultimately become obsessed with how your life pans out, and cannot learn to be anything more but an audience to how you deal with day to day experiences. Haters are almost like the fans of an opposing team to a sport you enjoy watching... They are on the edge of their seats when something awful is about to happen, but until that moment, they talk trash all day long, just to throw you off your course! 


I am so honest when I say this, if you see yourself as one of those "fans" you might want to seek therapy, because there is some deep seeded issue inside of you that has you thinking that you are not worthy of being your own audience and working on the faults you see in yourself to become a better person. Just let that marinate and think about it! So the next time you decide you want to call someone a "hater" make sure they are really on that level, if not, get out of this perception and realize that an opinion is an opinion and very rarely do you cross paths with someone who cares more about you than you do yourself... maybe that's why you think their hating, you are stuck on your issues and insecurities and want to displace those feelings on someone else. (Moment of silence)


I leave you with this... Whether it is jealously or hating, at the end of the day, it is you and you alone that you have to be accountable for, why not make that accountability add up to your God given worth.
      * "You hate someone whom you really wish to love, but whom u cannot love. Perhaps he himself prevents you. That is a disguised form of love." - Sri Chinmoy*


Live. Laugh. Love
      A. Bunny 

Evil Influence!

First of all.... Happy Labor day everyone, hope you are enjoying your family, friend's, and cookouts... Im back with my blogs after a brief intermission! 
On to the business!!!.....

Oh how we are so easily influenced we dont realize what wrong from right anymore. The world has changed so much that I fear for our futures (seriously I do).

Earlier today my cousin, Jazz and I were having a conversation about media influences. She just so happened to be reading up on this mass murderer named Charles Manson. She so happened to see him on tv and took an interest into his craziness, from this she said "They should make a movie about this!" From there we went into brief debate mode. My conclusion... Not everyone's life story needs to be televised!

I wonder... how many people actually realize that there is an influence of evil out in the world (ok y'all just hear me out on this) I mean just look at all the movies hollywood is producing... Hardly any of them are about something just THAT positive, we got movies out actually titled DEVIL... like seriously am I the only that's noticing this trend.

I know someone is going to think I'm crazy for this, but If I dont say it, who will?!?! I know there is a direct correlation between the times and what we see (media influence) Look at the crime rate, the amount of deaths we have going on, and the look at the types of movies we are showing. Is there really any reason to question why WE are the way that we are? I know we are not born to be these inexplicably evil people (although I do have to worry about some of y'all), but I look around and there are these children that have no sense of right from wrong. Now dont get me wrong I know that the parents are responsible for about 80% of what their child is exposed to, but what about the other 10%... sad enough it just takes 1 person to corrupt you at a young age!

Im not gonna go on this rant about how we are becoming negatively influenced or anything like that (save that for another day)... I just wanted to speak out on what Im beginning to see out here. I just know that on this journey called life, Im going to keep steadfast on my Jesus and not stray into what's becoming the devil's playground. Will you do the same?!

Live. Laugh. Love
        A. Bunny

Sextacy Lost

S.E.X... Shared Enjoyment eXscape! (Well that's what it stands for, for me!)

Sex, how important is it really? I mean I hear people talk about sex all the time, myself included, but really I wonder how important is it that those of us who are not in committed MARRIED relationships experience this divine pleasure? Well let me throw a few stats at y'all...

A study done by Durex (you know the condom brand) in 2003 found that

• People have sex on AVERAGE 127 times per year (THATS ALL?)
• Eastern Europeans have us beat with 150 times (Ouch)
• 2 years prior the US was beating out everyone @ 121 times a year (Damn Rabbits)

So with a few stats under our belt we can all conclude that somehow sex is important to our lifestyles, but WHY?!?!

Well let me try to dig a bit deeper from my observations on both genders. Sex is seemingly something we do now-a-days because it's socially acceptable to be considered desirable. I mean let's face it times have changed and people need to find new ways to fit in, yes I said FIT IN. I mean some guys sole claim to fame is how many girls they have humped. Celebrities are not famous because of their talents, but because of their ability to open their legs and "Insert here-->>", and the act of adultery is running rampant ... Seriously its almost pathetic how sex has become so accepted that we think nothing of it when it passes off in commercials, cartoons, and even billboard ads... Here is a shocker... the average child is exposed to 40,000 mass media ads a year... now think how that's doubled for us adults, and on top of that nearly HALF of them are about body image and sex.

So is there much to wonder, when we find ourselves, thinking who is gonna be our next victim, or where we are gonna get our next "nut" off?

Now with all the information we have out there about sex, love, and rock-n-roll (sorry couldn't help myself... FOCUS ADRIENNE)... I digress... with all the info about sex and STDs aaaand pregnancy we still manage to be shocked.. SHOCKED I TELL YOU... when we experience these mishaps. Like seriously... don't be actin all surprised when the Dr. returns with that chart giving you the run down of what you got... or how many weeks your along... YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!

It's like its engraved in our very fibers through evolution that SEX will forever be something we NEED to do, so if it's that important... why cant we wait? I know that everyone wants to experience a lil' pleasure (buy a ticket to Disney World)... but why not share it with that ONE, yes *gasp* ONE person that means the world to us? Come on, how many times do you hear a guy/girl talk about, I didn't mean for it to go this far, feelings are caught, and I dont want to be with them... YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT THE BEDROOM OUT OF THIS! Save it, we all get horny, we all get frisky, but self control is not some theory disproved by scientists... YOU CAN DO IT!

Now I am a recently practicing celibacy and people look at me like I got leprosy... Seriously Im so tired of hearing... "Girl, I just dont know how you gonna do it" or  "You can venture that on your own" (like im trying to form a cult) I just found through my sexual experiences that this thing called SEX, just ain't that critical in the process of trying to form a real relationship with someone.. and the thought of casual sex just went straight out the door... I GOT B.O.B FOR THAT!! (Battery Operated Boyfriend).

Maybe I'm just a little new aged or old school now that I'm growing up, but I really am realizing that this thing parents/teachers/pastors taught so long ago had some substance behind it. Sex is an act of love, PERIOD... I cant experience this with someone who I dont love, or even have no intentions of trying to get to know. If im giving you a part of me, you need to expect my heart to follow, dont look at me funny when I want to say "I love you" so many months down the road.

So again, I ask, why is sex so important.... God allowed us to share this gift of our mind, body, and soul and we treat it like its some trip to McDonalds.... Sex will forever be important, its how we repopulate, its how we imprint ourselves on one another, its how we express the greatest form of Love between to people. Sex is great, sex should be had, but sex should NOT be significant only when its done to sell music, movies, magazines, etc...

I am on my soapbox for only one reason, because I understand our generation is allowing that which is good to be corrupted. I understand that you will do what you want, when you want, and how you want, but understand this... while you are giving yourself up to him, her, and them, ask yourself, "what will I have left when that that 1 comes along"... will it be important then?

Live. Laugh. Love
        A. Bunny

Rainy Day Bliss

When do you feel your most relaxed? Are you the type of person that enjoys being alone or in a big crowd of people? Does a sunny day lift your spirits or do you prefer the calming rain outside the window?

I just wanted to blog about being in an utter state of relaxation. The most inspiring time to curl up with my Macbook and express myself is on a cool rainy day (I belong in Chicago). Today has got to be one of the most relaxing days I've had in awhile. It has been gray and cloudy skies, and for whatever reason, it just helps me get in a great mood (backwards I know). This is definitely not one of those entries that's gonna be about anything important. I just wanted to share the simple things in life that make you feel completely blessed.

• A drop of rain on the face during a hot day
• A cool breeze
• Simple laughs shared with friends & family 

Maybe this post will inspire me to later do one on how to combat stress... I know we all have it! Ok people Now that my introduction to my relaxed day is out of the way... ON TO THE GOOD STUFF!! LOL

Good Men ARENT that hard to find!

Book By Aaron Anwar Smith

So during my own little research project, I came across this article entitled "Memo to Black Women: Get Real" . It was a brief little article addressing how we as black women have high standards when we look in a mate, and undoubtedly I agree. Now ladies don't attack me on this one, but I'm just being as honest as I can be, when I say, WE NEED TO GET OVER OURSELVES. I know our struggle, I know we are a double negative (woman and black), but please do not feel like because we overcome these said obstacles we have to put down the brothers that are doing what needs to be done to MAKE IT!



Yea we all want a good man, but does it mean they have to be rich? Do they have to be gorgeous? Do they have to be everything we see in movies or on tv? For every 5 sorry men I meet, I know there is at least 1 GREAT man out there. We are so busy looking in ALL the wrong places that you may not notice that extremely polite brutha in the baking aisle, or that eccentric guy attempting to make conversation with you in line at Banana Republic.

Stop letting your girls convince you out of a great catch, sadly we as women are jealous and it's hard for us to truly be happy for people unless they are our TRUE friends. If you have found a man, and he treats you with all the respect in the world, loves you unconditionally, and you feel like his Nubian Queen... then why are you listening to your girls attack him the MOMENT he messes up? We have to do better, honestly.

Ladies this entry is not to say lower your standards for the man who lives with his mother and isn't trying to make something out of his life, because he is content with THAT woman in his life letting him get by. I'm saying stop comparing them to what you have NEVER had... Yes I mean never! Throw the lists out the window, stop going by statistics... and just go with what your heart says. If he doesn't look like Denzel, then oh well... does he touch your heart?! Ok then... dont be so superficial, even if the initial attraction isn't there physically, if you feel a connection, GO WITH IT! Dont miss out on something because you are stuck up on looks.

RANT AHEAD:

Stop looking for a man with pockets the size of Jay-Z, honestly if I hear one more woman talk about I need a man who can take care of me, I think imma flip! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, and a man will come to you! What makes you think a man is gonna want to deal with a woman who cant put effort into herself enough to be someone on her own? I truly get aggravated with women and their "NEED MONEY" ideas... YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY. I feel like I've heard this said over and over... I saw a girl on twitter a month ago post a video talking about "my man takes care of me, I dont need to work" UGH STOP!! (Had to get it out)... Is this what we have become? Helpless? You have 2 extremes as women, either you are Ms. Independent or Ms. Dependent... there is no median... Ladies hear me when I say this... Let go of those beliefs,  Do for you and drop the $$ in your eyes!

Now, let me hit some of y'all with this educated man ideals... I am an educated woman with a degree... and I too fell under that, "My man better have a degree to get with me" idea... Let's pretend for a moment that you meet a guy, and he is EVERYTHING, but college educated... are you gonna leave him because he cant give you a penthouse in New York, or buy you everything you ask for off of Rodeo Dr.? I'd honestly hope not, these days college educated men ain't all gonna be making 7 figures or more... Im just saying! So again I m saying to you... JUST FALL IN LOVE! Hear your heart and follow it!

Now Im not a dating guru, because I havent found that diamond in the rough myself. But when I see my friends with a man who is truly worth their time, it pains me when they let him go for some superficial notion! Find me a man who can capture your heart, and I'll find you a woman who has found a life of happiness, trust me!


Live. Laugh. Love
        A. Bunny

What's in an insult? (For my Men)

Let me say before I even start I just want to say my disclaimer... By no means am I grouping all men into this category nor am I "going off", I'm just speaking from personal experience and observations. 

Ok, Now that THAT'S out of the way let the rant begin..lol 

So It has come to my attention that a lot more boys (yes I said boys, because Real men aren't this thick headed) have been throwing around the word "Bitch" like its a common term for a sunny day. Let's just be real, times are changing yes, chivalry is damn near dead, and boys are growing into bigger boys and never crossing over the threshold of becoming a MAN. 

Now Im sure a few of you who are reading this are thinking, "Who are you to tell me how to be a real man?" This is not my intention because no man could ever tell me how to BE are real woman, but they could try to explain to me how as Men, they do or do not want to be treated.. correct? CORRECT! So with that said, why is it that one of the terms that is consistently used as an insult to women, ok to seep through ur lips? I hear men discredit women of who they really are everyday with this term. Now im not exempt of saying bitch myself but trust me when I say... IM NEVER SAYING IT TO BE CUTE... it's because I mean she is not worthy of any other word... PERIOD! (Yeaaaaa I need to quit..lol )

I mean compliments dont run like milk and honey these days with the intent of just uplifting another person, but seriously, we as women have enough to worry about between our own gender to have to sit here and fight a man when he wants to call us a bitch just for the sake of not being intelligent enough to express themselves otherwise. (Yes that was a direct hit to your intellectual abilities, God gave you a brain, use the right side of it to better communicate, PLEASE!)

Now I know some guys try to say, "Well I just say it around my boys"... *buzzard* Try again!! You say it around your friends, you are bound to slip up and say it around or to a woman who doesn't deserve to be put down. And please do not try to fight me on that... it only takes 30 days to alleviate yourself of a HABIT!.. (think about it)

*Bystander 1* "Did she say habit?"... Yes! I did say habit.. Lets take it to Webster's for those of you who dont see where Im going with this! 

Habit- a settled or regular tendency or practice,  Ok y'all got it down? What u say to your boys, you will say to anyone. Now you might exempt a few people from this derogatory term, like you mother for example, but that's a minor discrepancy. I know most of the guys I cross paths with, their mothers didn't raise them to disrespect a woman like that, so that leaves A.) the Father or B.) Friends or C.) Both... Let's explore shall we?

Now, who is the first man you learn from? Your father correct? So if your father is just an all around disrespectful piece of @&#% than, you may pick up on a few things, but usually the men I know who see a man disrespecting a woman, mainly their mother, find it hard to fix their mouth to let something as hurtful slip their lips. (That excuse goes out the window)

"Friends! How many of us of have them?" Yea a question some of you guys need to ask yourselves. If your boys influence your life to the point where they got you having more negative habits than positive, its time to reevaluate that friendship!...

*Personal belief ahead* I just think that if you are really becoming your own person (ADULT) than you have the ability to think for yourself. Life lessons teach us many things, but the best way to know if you actually learned from that lesson is being able to get through it with more knowledge that you had before. So with that said... If you have been scorned by a woman, your boys know, and their response is "BITCHES ARE BITCHES"... learn from this and FIND NEW FRIENDS.. they aren't your real friends, 9/10 they are single and bitter! Yes guys are capable of being bitter! They dont have your back for real, they just want people on their miserable little team.. "Misery LOVES company!"

Now if you got both of these factors going against you, refer to your mother! If she is sane and has the sense God gave her, she is your reference point when it comes to how you should treat women! Trust me on that! 

Basically guys, women deal with enough, especially us Black women... we are already stereotyped as so much. Dont do further damage to who we are and put us down. There is so much in a name, the stigma one word creates can last longer than we hope. Choose your words carefully when you speak. Respect women, you came from one, and hopefully end with one! 

Live. Laugh. Love

      A. Bunny 

Much Appreciation

I know I have been badgering some of my friends and friends of friends to READ MY BLOG, and I just want to let you guys know I so much appreciate all the feedback. This is my second blog that I've done and it was hard for me to actually get into blogging because I wouldn't know what write about what to say, how to make it fit me, until I was completely honest with myself and just put finger to keyboard and got my thoughts out on "paper"! I dont care if i got 1, 10, or 1000 readers, I appreciate everyone for their input, compliments or not!!

Love
    A. Bunny

Amour, Amore, Amor...

Love, no matter how many ways you say it, it's always expressed the same way. You can go to any country on this planet and understand the feeling of love, you can see it, you can smell it, you can hear it. Love touches 5 of our senses like a sunny breeze on a beautiful day, so why is that people look for it? I mean its all around us, maybe not in the form we would all like it, but it's there!

 I can't lie, I've fell victim to this phenomena, I call "Lover's Solitude"... Basically you are one track minded in believing that the love we receive and that sustains us is from a romantic partner. I'll go as far as to say that movies, books, and music have all given me this idea that one day (sometime soon) I will find this love that people often speak of, the one I cant sleep without, wake up without, breath without, etc... Now as a Christian that love can be used to describe Jesus, but truthfully He is not who Im blogging about tonight. Although I couldn't live without HIS love, he has granted me and everyone else with love personified in so many different ways. We just never open our eyes and hearts.

Now Im sure some of you are like, ok Adrienne, since you have all the answers to my lonely problems and there is love everywhere than where is it? I could say, our families... but unfortunately not everyone receives this love from their family members. Sad, but True!...... I could say our friends, but I'd be lying again... as much as Id like to think some of my "friends" love me... I dont know if thats always the truth... now there are a select few that are straight up considered family... their love is so deep that, to call them a friend would otherwise be disrespectful.

So again, where is this "Love" Im speaking of? Well as cliche as this sounds, its inside of you. *Cues Disney song*... But seriously, this thing takes a lot of time to figure out and get right. How often, I've looked in the mirror at myself, then back at a magazine, then back at myself, and just wanted to break down and cry. Thinking to myself, "Its not fair... why dont I look like her? Why aren't my eyes like hers?.. my lips?.... my legs.?.. etc" And in that moment of weakness, I find something in that mirror that is just 10 times more beautiful than any airbrushed page in any Cosmo magazine!

Although I find flaws in myself EVERYDAY... whether physical or internal, I have learned that THIS is who I am and as much as I preach people need to accept me for the good and the bad, I need to get it through my head, that I need to do the same. Yes I may wear a size 12... Yes I may carry a DD chest, and Yes I may not have the longest hair, biggest 'fro, or perfectly sculpted rear end.. but half the time, neither do the women I thought I wanted to aspire to be! To take a few words out of TLC's Unpretty all these things I can buy (trust me I HAVE) but who you are inside will definately reflect who you are on the outside.

Now this blog entry may seem cliche, over done, boring, but it was important for me to get this out of my system. So often as a black woman, we are made to think we need to look this way, act this way, be this person, and that is NEVER going to be true. Yes I have a 'fro... Yes I have curves... and Yes I am light skinned..lol... so not the conventional beauty... and I love it... I love me... I love who Im becoming... It was a long time coming but my true love waited for me... the least I can do is love me wholeheartedly!

Live. Laugh. Love
       A. Bunny

Past, Present, Future.... Always

A week or so ago I found my old high school best friend on twitter, her account was blocked but I requested to be her friend anyways. From the moment of clicking to send the request I wondered would she accept my request or not. This I wonder primarily because the summer before my senior year her and I and another friend of ours had a falling out, much so started by me because that year had proven to be one of my most trying and they just weren't the friends you would have wanted to be by your side throughout the majority of the situation. 

Well yesterday she accepted my request to my surprise and so I tweeted her, and we shared a few niceties. This lead me to wonder... When you grow out of someone does that necessarily mean that you never fit again? I mean people do it all the time with friendships, relationships, even family members and sadly some people just leave it at that no matter how great the situation might have been prior to the negative occurrences.  

I understand that people come in and out of your life for reasons... The seasons of friendships change, but those seasons could mean you may need a period of death to the friendship inorder to have a fresh and new beginning. You know that saying... "You dont know what you have until it's gone" it speaks to many situations in life, but does that necessarily mean that it has to stay gone? What happens when you lose an object that you really liked or even loved... dont you go looking for it? I know I do, and I search frantically until I find it. Why dont we treat the people we love or deeply care about like a missing object? Life is too short to discard those that meant the most to us like they can be replaced. 

I find the older I get the more this lesson presents itself in the forefront of life, from losing family members dear to my heart... to friends. When I actually sit down and let the steam blow over my stupidity and rage evaporate with it. I can only think about the good times I've had with these people and how much I miss them! So what's my conclusion?..... Well I cant erase the past, I can only write the future, and yea there may not be any moments where I can rewind to my mistakes, but I can at least correct them before the story continues. 

By no means am I trying to get deep on anyone, My best friend said something to me this morning that just hit home.. He said "Good friends are hard to come by, you got to hold on to the ones you have".... All that animosity, that disdain, I had 5 years ago, was gone within 1 second. I just hope that with my growth as a person I realize, just because its over for now doesn't mean it's over forever! 

Live. Laugh. Love

       A. Bunny 

Fall Wish List

Ok you guys today Im going to try something new. I have a passion for fashion, I just never express it, so inorder to get myself back on track I want to share my WANTS & NEEDS with the world!

For the Fall I think the perfect fashion trend for my tastes are Boho Chic inspired clothing! My style crush is Zoe Kravitz.... She and her mother, Lisa Bonet.

Their Fashion Sense is so ridiculously comfortable and free, that I cant help BUT to be drawn to it! Imitation in this cas IS the highest form of flattery!  

Another woman that catches my eye when it comes to being Bohemian all year round is Nicole Ritchie. 

Im certain with a little tweaking and an pinch of personal style I will be able to take her ideas and make them my own for my fashion obsession! 

The biggest key to going boho is just being comfortable in what you are wearing, a simple outfit can be glammed up with big chunky jewelry like  an assortment of bangles or echocentric pieces. 

My fave website for this kind of jewelry is http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/index.jsp

BASICALLY.... LET THE SHOPPING BEGIN!!! 

I Love the Way You Lie...

The more I listen to Eminem's song, the more I relate it to so many instances in my life, when it comes to the opposite sex. Now before any of yall sit there and tell me Im a man basher, look back into your own instances in life with the ppl you have dealt with, when they break your heart, when they screw you over, or when they just change your outlook on how you perceive yourself. Im simply speaking to the tremors of my heart.

Many of times I have put my heart on my sleeve when it comes to men. I feel like I want to get to know the person on a different level so I open myself up to them, the way I want them to open up to me (which from my experience has blown up into my face). Why has it blown up in my face you ask? Because these particular men that I run into, happen to LIE, ALOT!!! LIKE let's be real, if you have to lie to me, when we aren't serious why would I believe you if or when we get together? Some of these lies are so beautiful, so entrancing that you have no choice but to want to give them the benefit of the doubt. Some of these lies are so transparent you just stand and look at them like,"Do I have stupid written all over my forehead?". But nevertheless I love the way these men lie to women, not just me, with the idea that telling a lie is much better than just being honest with themselves or their partners.

This is like a life lesson, as humans we are exposed to just enough to be able to decipher between the crap and the truth. Some of us more than others may have to go through a little bit more. Its all irrelevant at the end of the day when you leave the man that lied to you and learn to appreciate a good man. Yea the lessons are learned, but the biggest lesson is that YOU know what you want! Hence.. "love the way you lie"... I love the hell you put me through to find my heaven on earth.



                              Live. Laugh. Love
                                       A.  Bunny

Twin Powers Activate!

So this blog is just a little fun! I've been doing some research on my astrological sign, Gemini *raises hands in the air like I just dont care*. I know some people dont take it too seriously and others live and swear by their horoscopes, I just happen to find the humor and coincidences in what my sign says about me and how I really am. Now, I will give it this... whomever decided the characteristics of these signs was SPOT ON when it came to Gemini's, well as far as Im concerned.

I was born on June 16th so Im right in the middle, born during a summer month, but in spring. Let me quote some of these articles I found on Gemini's.

"With the Sun in Gemini, the urge for self-expression is strong. These natives are often just as interested in collecting information as they are in sharing it. Curious to a fault, Geminis have a finger in every pie."

If that aint tellin the truth, I dont know what is... My friends from college often called me the "Researcher", I had to know everything about everything and if I didn't know you better believe I was gonna find out. I often think of this as one of my positive qualities, because I pride myself in the fact that what I dont know, I will work to find out. Often times I thought that would be the field that I go into, research about relationships would be ideal.

"Often quite adept at fitting in with others, Geminis easily adopt the moods of those around them. They are friends to people from all walks of life, and are not easily intimidated. Their ability to detach themselves can make Geminis very objective and observant, but a little difficult to get close to. Although they often have many friends, intimacy doesn't come as easily to Solar Geminis."

 Quote pretty much sums it all up. Ever walk into a room and you just sense the mood in the air? Yea not only do I sense it, I either try to change it or adapt to it. I thought I learned it from moving a lot in the military with my parents, and it just has evolved into being this empathetic social person.
I love my sign and all that it seems to open my eyes to around me.

Does your sign speak volumes about you?

                          Live. Laugh. Love
                                  A. Bunny

Bunny Update

Being that its almost the beginning of September and I have NOT blogged except once for the month of August, I shall give an update. (Thinks to self.... "This should be brief")

Besides continuing my journey to employment, I have been combating the day to day hassles of my maternal influence i.e. MOTHER!! She and I have this *Snooty french accent* How do you say... "love/hate" relationship. Id agree if anyone said that her and I are like mortal opposites. She is the sun and I am the moon, literally (I like nighttime and she likes the crack of dawn), but I digress.... I am still fighting the daily battles of learning how to cohabitate with this woman... EVERY FREAKIN DAY IS A FREAKIN ADVENTURE... go figure! Vent much? See I told yall it would be brief... As I stop myself from pullin the hair out of my head... *smiles* Its alllllll gravy

Adventures in Hoeland?? Oh no

So rewind about 2.5 weeks and we find ourselves in Fayetteville.. Place: Friend's house Time: 11ish Scene: Watching tv & joking around.

"Hi how ya doin... doesnt matter", "Youre talkin to me like I cared to know who you are".... "This is Kevin"... "Hi, Im Adrienne"... And this folks is how it begins... You crack a few jokes you spark some interest and then you find yourself liking someone that supposedly is a H.O.E. This is the part where every fiber of your being says he is probably no good for you and yet you still find yourself uncontrollably intrigued by what may make him a bad boy. You ask yourself "Is he really bad? What's his sex like? Can I be the woman to make him want to change his ways?... This thought process is what I like to call, "Desirable Stupidity", because that fiber of your being is telling you dont get caught up because 9/10 you WILL get hurt. Yet you cant help it.. its like being on a diet and knowing you have no business eating that Cinnabon. The smell of it captivates you, the look of it intrigues you, and you hear it calling your name... THIS IS THE SAME EFFECT SELF-MADE MALE WHORES have on you... Temptation at it's finest, Id say.

Now, I have self restraint... I may have nibbled at the Cinnabon (literally), but I didnt devour it, mainly because of the thought of being on someone's roster just doesnt sit well with me... If you are into having sex recreationally, do what you do... but how do you take a man like that seriously.

In the midst of conversation with this knuckle head he tells me he wants to be in a relationship... HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY believe someone like that? ACTIONS... if their actions match up to what they say then possibly they are telling the truth... you would think that would work... pfft NO!

Dealing with a male hoe is like reading one of those books where you choose your own ending... you have a good idea of where it could go... and of where you would hope it would go... So with that said which page do I flip to to see the outcome of this story.. or do I just close the book altogether?

Fitness Fun?

So yesterday my mother and I were playing this game I bought her for Christmas on the Wii. It was that EA Sports fitness game. I have played it like a total of 3 times prior to yesterday because it literally whooped my ass, and I was sore for days. Well not yesterday, I customized our workout to actually do things that I would find fun, like playing tennis, volleyball, and BOXING!! OOOOOH YEA, ladies and gentlemen I have found my punching bag!!! There was an actual punching bag on the game and I was done... Frustrations were let out and I was in video game HEAVEN *cue the the heavenly choir*!!

Well today, while lounging around doing what I do best, I was googling the net for some yoga inspired Wii games. When my search seemed to be going absolutley nowhere, I thought to myself......

"Why not look for a DVD workout, DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!!!"

And in the midst of "Duhing" myself I had a pure stroke of Adrienne-esque genius!! WE HAVE THE FIT TV CHANNEL.. duuuuuuuuh (These duh's are quite amusing in my head)
So Im searching through the tv show lineup and low and behold I find myself A.......*DRUMROLL*.......... NAMASTE YOGA show! Im sure Im like the only one on the planet at this point who is utterly excited at the prospect of doing gym-free/class-free yoga in my living room... FOR THE COST OF CABLE.. lol (dont burst my bubble)

Needless to say I have not started yet, but oooh boy do I have every intention of gettin on that, especially since its recorded.... OH YEA!!, I also recorded bollywood belly dance... whoooo-hooo PARTY AT ADRIENNE'S!!! CUZ IM ON FIYA (ok cornball moment is over in 5....4.....3...2...)

Anyways I shall TRY to update my progress as much as humanly possible, THE FORCE IS NOW WITH ME!!

Live. Laugh. Love

A. Bunny 

Starting Over

Sometimes I feel like I start my life over every time it goes wrong. I guess that goes for blogs too! Ever since graduation, I've been itching to start my life and yet I cant seem to get a running start at this thing! The economy is one reason this is becoming harder than ever, jobs are not where they need to be and I feel due to these circumstances I'm forced to go to grad school sooner than I had hoped. I find myself getting more and more irritated with living with others and dealing with their rules. It seems like I was born in the wrong decade. I just hope that the more I look for something worth having I will be blessed to have something of my own one day. Id hate to look up and Im 30 years old, living at home with my mother pretending to be something that Im clearly not! (See how passionate I am about this!)

I feel guilty for sitting up on the computer all day job searching and watching movies at the same time. SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE!! Ill just take one day at a time, and pray that God will look out for me and have my back! Until then... ON WITH THE BLOGGING! 

Live. Laugh. Love

A. Bunny