Good Men ARENT that hard to find!

Book By Aaron Anwar Smith

So during my own little research project, I came across this article entitled "Memo to Black Women: Get Real" . It was a brief little article addressing how we as black women have high standards when we look in a mate, and undoubtedly I agree. Now ladies don't attack me on this one, but I'm just being as honest as I can be, when I say, WE NEED TO GET OVER OURSELVES. I know our struggle, I know we are a double negative (woman and black), but please do not feel like because we overcome these said obstacles we have to put down the brothers that are doing what needs to be done to MAKE IT!



Yea we all want a good man, but does it mean they have to be rich? Do they have to be gorgeous? Do they have to be everything we see in movies or on tv? For every 5 sorry men I meet, I know there is at least 1 GREAT man out there. We are so busy looking in ALL the wrong places that you may not notice that extremely polite brutha in the baking aisle, or that eccentric guy attempting to make conversation with you in line at Banana Republic.

Stop letting your girls convince you out of a great catch, sadly we as women are jealous and it's hard for us to truly be happy for people unless they are our TRUE friends. If you have found a man, and he treats you with all the respect in the world, loves you unconditionally, and you feel like his Nubian Queen... then why are you listening to your girls attack him the MOMENT he messes up? We have to do better, honestly.

Ladies this entry is not to say lower your standards for the man who lives with his mother and isn't trying to make something out of his life, because he is content with THAT woman in his life letting him get by. I'm saying stop comparing them to what you have NEVER had... Yes I mean never! Throw the lists out the window, stop going by statistics... and just go with what your heart says. If he doesn't look like Denzel, then oh well... does he touch your heart?! Ok then... dont be so superficial, even if the initial attraction isn't there physically, if you feel a connection, GO WITH IT! Dont miss out on something because you are stuck up on looks.

RANT AHEAD:

Stop looking for a man with pockets the size of Jay-Z, honestly if I hear one more woman talk about I need a man who can take care of me, I think imma flip! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, and a man will come to you! What makes you think a man is gonna want to deal with a woman who cant put effort into herself enough to be someone on her own? I truly get aggravated with women and their "NEED MONEY" ideas... YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY. I feel like I've heard this said over and over... I saw a girl on twitter a month ago post a video talking about "my man takes care of me, I dont need to work" UGH STOP!! (Had to get it out)... Is this what we have become? Helpless? You have 2 extremes as women, either you are Ms. Independent or Ms. Dependent... there is no median... Ladies hear me when I say this... Let go of those beliefs,  Do for you and drop the $$ in your eyes!

Now, let me hit some of y'all with this educated man ideals... I am an educated woman with a degree... and I too fell under that, "My man better have a degree to get with me" idea... Let's pretend for a moment that you meet a guy, and he is EVERYTHING, but college educated... are you gonna leave him because he cant give you a penthouse in New York, or buy you everything you ask for off of Rodeo Dr.? I'd honestly hope not, these days college educated men ain't all gonna be making 7 figures or more... Im just saying! So again I m saying to you... JUST FALL IN LOVE! Hear your heart and follow it!

Now Im not a dating guru, because I havent found that diamond in the rough myself. But when I see my friends with a man who is truly worth their time, it pains me when they let him go for some superficial notion! Find me a man who can capture your heart, and I'll find you a woman who has found a life of happiness, trust me!


Live. Laugh. Love
        A. Bunny

What's in an insult? (For my Men)

Let me say before I even start I just want to say my disclaimer... By no means am I grouping all men into this category nor am I "going off", I'm just speaking from personal experience and observations. 

Ok, Now that THAT'S out of the way let the rant begin..lol 

So It has come to my attention that a lot more boys (yes I said boys, because Real men aren't this thick headed) have been throwing around the word "Bitch" like its a common term for a sunny day. Let's just be real, times are changing yes, chivalry is damn near dead, and boys are growing into bigger boys and never crossing over the threshold of becoming a MAN. 

Now Im sure a few of you who are reading this are thinking, "Who are you to tell me how to be a real man?" This is not my intention because no man could ever tell me how to BE are real woman, but they could try to explain to me how as Men, they do or do not want to be treated.. correct? CORRECT! So with that said, why is it that one of the terms that is consistently used as an insult to women, ok to seep through ur lips? I hear men discredit women of who they really are everyday with this term. Now im not exempt of saying bitch myself but trust me when I say... IM NEVER SAYING IT TO BE CUTE... it's because I mean she is not worthy of any other word... PERIOD! (Yeaaaaa I need to quit..lol )

I mean compliments dont run like milk and honey these days with the intent of just uplifting another person, but seriously, we as women have enough to worry about between our own gender to have to sit here and fight a man when he wants to call us a bitch just for the sake of not being intelligent enough to express themselves otherwise. (Yes that was a direct hit to your intellectual abilities, God gave you a brain, use the right side of it to better communicate, PLEASE!)

Now I know some guys try to say, "Well I just say it around my boys"... *buzzard* Try again!! You say it around your friends, you are bound to slip up and say it around or to a woman who doesn't deserve to be put down. And please do not try to fight me on that... it only takes 30 days to alleviate yourself of a HABIT!.. (think about it)

*Bystander 1* "Did she say habit?"... Yes! I did say habit.. Lets take it to Webster's for those of you who dont see where Im going with this! 

Habit- a settled or regular tendency or practice,  Ok y'all got it down? What u say to your boys, you will say to anyone. Now you might exempt a few people from this derogatory term, like you mother for example, but that's a minor discrepancy. I know most of the guys I cross paths with, their mothers didn't raise them to disrespect a woman like that, so that leaves A.) the Father or B.) Friends or C.) Both... Let's explore shall we?

Now, who is the first man you learn from? Your father correct? So if your father is just an all around disrespectful piece of @&#% than, you may pick up on a few things, but usually the men I know who see a man disrespecting a woman, mainly their mother, find it hard to fix their mouth to let something as hurtful slip their lips. (That excuse goes out the window)

"Friends! How many of us of have them?" Yea a question some of you guys need to ask yourselves. If your boys influence your life to the point where they got you having more negative habits than positive, its time to reevaluate that friendship!...

*Personal belief ahead* I just think that if you are really becoming your own person (ADULT) than you have the ability to think for yourself. Life lessons teach us many things, but the best way to know if you actually learned from that lesson is being able to get through it with more knowledge that you had before. So with that said... If you have been scorned by a woman, your boys know, and their response is "BITCHES ARE BITCHES"... learn from this and FIND NEW FRIENDS.. they aren't your real friends, 9/10 they are single and bitter! Yes guys are capable of being bitter! They dont have your back for real, they just want people on their miserable little team.. "Misery LOVES company!"

Now if you got both of these factors going against you, refer to your mother! If she is sane and has the sense God gave her, she is your reference point when it comes to how you should treat women! Trust me on that! 

Basically guys, women deal with enough, especially us Black women... we are already stereotyped as so much. Dont do further damage to who we are and put us down. There is so much in a name, the stigma one word creates can last longer than we hope. Choose your words carefully when you speak. Respect women, you came from one, and hopefully end with one! 

Live. Laugh. Love

      A. Bunny 

I Love the Way You Lie...

The more I listen to Eminem's song, the more I relate it to so many instances in my life, when it comes to the opposite sex. Now before any of yall sit there and tell me Im a man basher, look back into your own instances in life with the ppl you have dealt with, when they break your heart, when they screw you over, or when they just change your outlook on how you perceive yourself. Im simply speaking to the tremors of my heart.

Many of times I have put my heart on my sleeve when it comes to men. I feel like I want to get to know the person on a different level so I open myself up to them, the way I want them to open up to me (which from my experience has blown up into my face). Why has it blown up in my face you ask? Because these particular men that I run into, happen to LIE, ALOT!!! LIKE let's be real, if you have to lie to me, when we aren't serious why would I believe you if or when we get together? Some of these lies are so beautiful, so entrancing that you have no choice but to want to give them the benefit of the doubt. Some of these lies are so transparent you just stand and look at them like,"Do I have stupid written all over my forehead?". But nevertheless I love the way these men lie to women, not just me, with the idea that telling a lie is much better than just being honest with themselves or their partners.

This is like a life lesson, as humans we are exposed to just enough to be able to decipher between the crap and the truth. Some of us more than others may have to go through a little bit more. Its all irrelevant at the end of the day when you leave the man that lied to you and learn to appreciate a good man. Yea the lessons are learned, but the biggest lesson is that YOU know what you want! Hence.. "love the way you lie"... I love the hell you put me through to find my heaven on earth.



                              Live. Laugh. Love
                                       A.  Bunny