Hate on me Hata'!

Hater (slang), a person who expresses intense feelings of hatred or spite, when the reason for this is perceived as unreasonable or spurious (deceitful nature).


Does that sound like some of you? Are you often called one of these? Do you repeatedly use this to describe people ? If so, this blog is for you! 
[Disclaimer: ALL BELIEFS AND VIEWS ARE MINE AND MINE ALONE, IF YOU DO NOT AGREE, I PROMISE I DONT CARE, Thank you]


(Scenario A) Girl 1: Did you see her hair?
                   Girl 2: Yes it was so ugly, looks like a mistake! 
Random Bystander: Why Ya'll HATIN' ? It looks great! 


Does this scenario sound like your conversations or one you have overheard? I've heard this crap plenty of times about ANY possible thing known to mankind! "You're just a hater", "Stop hating", "Hi Hater"... these are all common phrases used to express someone's perceived disdain with a situation or thing. Notice I said PERCEIVED... perception is not everyone's reality, just yours! I have chosen to do this MUCH NEEDED blog to break down the science behind this phenomena! ALL "HATER'S" PLEASE BE WARNED...


Jealousy- adjective feeling of resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success or advantages. 


Above I have defined hater and jealousy, why you ask? Well, Id like to show a clear distinction between both of these words. I think people commonly get these 2 mixed up. 

1. Hating has been defined as an expression of intense spite, ex: "She aint cute, she always walkin around like she better than everyone!" translation: "She has more confidence than I ever will, and I hate that I cant free myself." 
2. Jealously, is defined a feeling of resentment against someone's success... ex: "Just because he got that promotion, doesn't mean he deserves it" translation: "I clearly did just as much work as he did and it went unnoticed!"

If you cant see the distinction, let me point it out to you! The word  INTENSE says it all! Everyone has a moment of jealousy, because we envy what others may have at that point in time, but that is not because we cannot get what they have, but rather because we have not gotten there yet. When defined as a hater, you are basically someone who cannot seemingly reconcile within themselves, that they are who they are, I am who I am, and we will never be anyone else. 


Now, although hater is a slang word, it does hold some strong power behind it, where people do not understand how to use it PROPERLY! I walk around and hear people tell me that I am a "hater" because I don't necessarily agree with their beliefs or because I may voice my opinion (asked or not) about a situation. Now trust me when I say this.... BECAUSE I HAVE AN OPINION, that doesn't mean that 30 minutes to 5 hours from now, I'm still gonna care or even think about what it is that we discussed! Nevertheless, people are insistent on the notion that because you believe something you are a hater... FALSE! That folks is just having an opinion... I'm just an opinionated person all day long! 


While having a conversation with a few people just to get an idea of where everyone's mind is at when it comes to this thing called "hating", I learned that MOST people really don't have haters, they just don't like opinons. As much as they fight it and say criticism is good, most people don't want to be told about themselves or have anyone a negative reaction to what they do. Let's face it we all love praise whether it is real or fake, so when that's challenged... the challenger is just a.... HATER! (I always laugh at those instances, because I have to wonder, do you really think I want to be you?)


People, people, people (shaking my head), please understand that only those who have low self-esteem are haters, I know this may come as a shock, but it's very true. If someone is classified as a "hater", they very much care about what you do, who you're with, and when something will go wrong for you, this is not jealously, this is to an extreme that almost is on the verge of what I feel to be a psychological disorder. Hater's ultimately become obsessed with how your life pans out, and cannot learn to be anything more but an audience to how you deal with day to day experiences. Haters are almost like the fans of an opposing team to a sport you enjoy watching... They are on the edge of their seats when something awful is about to happen, but until that moment, they talk trash all day long, just to throw you off your course! 


I am so honest when I say this, if you see yourself as one of those "fans" you might want to seek therapy, because there is some deep seeded issue inside of you that has you thinking that you are not worthy of being your own audience and working on the faults you see in yourself to become a better person. Just let that marinate and think about it! So the next time you decide you want to call someone a "hater" make sure they are really on that level, if not, get out of this perception and realize that an opinion is an opinion and very rarely do you cross paths with someone who cares more about you than you do yourself... maybe that's why you think their hating, you are stuck on your issues and insecurities and want to displace those feelings on someone else. (Moment of silence)


I leave you with this... Whether it is jealously or hating, at the end of the day, it is you and you alone that you have to be accountable for, why not make that accountability add up to your God given worth.
      * "You hate someone whom you really wish to love, but whom u cannot love. Perhaps he himself prevents you. That is a disguised form of love." - Sri Chinmoy*


Live. Laugh. Love
      A. Bunny