Life is a funny thing, we have all heard this countless times when we were younger but when do we actually learn the lessons that it has to teach us? At the age of 23 I feel like my life has been eventful enough to make a movie, but I've never felt my most challenged until now (sigh).
I am recently considered an ACOD (Adult Child of Divorce), yes there is a technical term for this NOT making it up y'all! I have learned so much about myself this past year! In January I prayed and said 2010 is gonna be my best year, like most of us do, and so far with 2 months left in the year, 2010 has been my BEST YEAR FOR LESSONS! As a recent college graduate I was so convinced that I'd graduate, get a job, and embark on MY life... as so many of my friends seemed to do, and so easily... but NOT me. I had the most difficulty finding a job, and actually still unemployed (Thanks Bush)! If anyone knows the strains of this recession, trust me I'm one of them, and on top of that my parents are filing for divorce after 24 years of marriage. Talk about a reality check.
The abridged version of what has happened to me in the past year and a half is basically my father left, he moved out, and has left my mother and I to live in this house, now the reasons for him leaving are pretty much self explanatory, adultery (I myself am certainly not an advocate for cheating past, present. or future)! Now while my father is still helping us out financially, once the divorce is final my mother will carry the burden of paying for this house and everything it comes with herself... my mother is only a nurse... IT WILL BE HARD (as if it isn't already)!
I've gone through so many emotional changes, anger being the biggest, since I've dealt with all of this... For the longest I felt like something was stolen for me... I would cry, scream, throw, and yell my rage out. Like children dealing with divorce I felt like it was my responsibility to fix it, and when I couldn't, I got angry. For a long time coming I have grown out of that feeling but I still hold some resentment. I understand that right now, at this point in my life, sacrifices have to be made. Trust me when I say, I envy others my age who have an active social life and a space of their own, because a lot I can't do, without funds I have to make do with what I have (its sucky) most of the time, I spend helping my mom out where I can and volunteering, just to keep busy.
I think all of this hit me hardest when I was in the hair store just shopping for detangler and I saw a hat that Ive been searching for, for awhile and looked at the price tag... $11.99... now to most people that's not a lot, but when you DONT have and you come to the realization of what you need versus what you want. I actually welcome these lessons, it builds character while strengthening my faith in God... I know my mother and I will make it through this, I'm not worried at all.... I just wish sometimes those around me would understand that this isn't something I choose and act accordingly.. I can no longer make choices like a child, I HAVE/ NEED to act like a Woman and accept my responsibilities in my life.
I'll leave you with this, be truly thankful for all that you have.... Until Next time
Live. Laugh. Love
A. Bunny
Hey, I always take it like unforgettable experience. See, it will look really hard and very challenging at the time you are going through it but 5 years from now when things are much more better, you will look back to the days that you talked mostly to yourself, thinking about your life and how everything going to turn out and how you love and cherish those moments because without that moments you will not be who you are today.
ReplyDeleteI always take it like what ever shit that hits my life, it is like a preparation for something better along the way. God loves to challenge one to be more harder, stronger and more productive. Imagine we getting everything we ever want, how boring would that be. After some time you will not know how to value it because quite frankly you keep on getting it how do you want to value something you get all the time? Example you ask? Air! When was the last time you cherish and thankful that you got air to breath? See where I'm going with this.
Judging based on your blog post, You are good and extremely capable person. You should explore every possible avenue to find your inner self. Have you ever consider writing ? like a book? or making this blog site more happening and taking it seriously by blogging a lot more on current issues and monetizing from the ads revenue ? You know Mashable 5 years ago was a just a blank page in the net. Just my 2cents. I would love to be your friend :) I suck real bad at this friendship thing, I'm just too intense for it but I don't mind knowing you. You seem Cool and extremely brilliant.
Sincerely,
John
Wow Thank you so much for your words John... lol Id love to be your friend... but Yea ive considered it... Id love to have myself out there as a writer, I'm better at relationship advice or self love as opposed to writing too much about current events like politics... If you have any advice as to how to get myself out there please do share, Id love advice!
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